So now I'm in the united states. I've been here for almost two weeks. I told my family in asuncion after a week that I wanted to move back to nueva. I really didnt want to tell them because i knew my job was to adapt to the new enviorment. But i also knew that i should communicate to them whatever troubke i was having. They were my hist family and i wanted t be closer to them so i shared what i felt one night. I told them i was more accostamed to the other life and everything was so new nd different to me. I missed the small town in the country and wanted a real paraguayn experience. and they brought be to the afs office saying that I am going to move back and not to worry. They made me feel pretty confident everything was okay and that I would be able to move back. but then I was really shocked when I went in the office and they told me my host family was really offended because they felt like they did a lot for me nd I did not appreciate it. I didn't know that was how they felt and was really shocked and hurt they did not tell me this. Then they told me I couldn't go back to nueva italia because they did not want me there. The director of the school didnt want me there because I was friends with the teacher who they thought I was dating. And they said Gustavo, the representative in nueva italia, did not want me there because he did not want anymore drama about me after the whole thing with the teacher and about me neighbors calling the police saying my host mom was abusing me which was not true. I was really hurt because I always thought he wanted me to live there and that he would always help me and fight to have me live there. But I guess to a certain point.....everyone told me not to get involved with this teacher because it looked bad. And although I was not very sure about him, I thought I was fighting for my right to be friends and to peruse who I choose. But now looking back what I was fighting for which I thought was a freedom was really not worth it...because I lost so much and for what? It wasn't worth it. And telling the family I wanted to move back was a mistake, I really should have known. So the program asked me to sign an agreemtent saying I would leave behind nueva italia. I said I did not want to because all I did was to be honest with my host family which I thought at the time was a good thing. But they said if I don't I         will be sent home to the united states. So I then signed the document. After I got out of the office I  had to go to work in the middle of asuncion in the poorest and most dangerous neighborhood in  asuncion called the chacarita. So as I was walking I just started crying. I was really hurt by  everything I heard that day, I felt like a lot of people were not honest to me. So I called the host  family and asked them if they knew how much I appreciated them and how much I enjoyed being  with them. I then asked them if I made them feel bad by anything they said and they said no, I did  nothing wrong which I guess was a lie. But after I wasn't living with them they still reached out to see if I was okay so I really don't understand this type of behavior...I guess it's a paraguayn thing. After  that I called Gustavo and asked him if it's true that he did not want me to live there in nueva italia and he said of course that's not true.....I don't know really who to believe but I don't want to say he lied.  Maybe he did want me to but it was just to hard....I did cause a lot of problems. And then he told me I could move back. So that night my host sister called me to say that he called and wanted me to know  not to call him again. And my heart just dropped I couldn't believe it? Could he really not just tell me  I couldn't move back? Anyways me calling him was considered violating the agreement so i was sent  back to the USA. By being sent back I was so hurt :( and so was my new host family and the people  here I loved. I dreampt about being an exchange student for three years and worked my butt off a  year before applying to two different programs. My family and me also spent a loooot of money for  the program...and it was such a dream of mine..I felt like it had been crushed and I really felt like I  found what I wa looking for coming tonparaguay...I was learning so much, living so differently, and  meet so many amazing people.....it just hurt but I couldn't really understand what going home would  mean..it was a shock something I could not comprehend. I didn't understand...why was I leaving  behind something so beautiful an a place I loved to come back to my home and to be alone....it just  didn't make sense...and I was so hurt :( also after the host family in the city there was a girl in the  office who felt strongly that I should live with her. Everyone else said she shouldn't taken me in but   she would get to attached but she did. She said she thought her family would be more supportive to  me and she was right. So supportive and wonderful....she also said she wish she could have been  there earlier so she could give me advice and to not out me in a town that is very conservative when I  am very liberal. She called the USA office to try and convince them to let me stay and to let them  know that I was doing much better but they just told her to put her emotions aside. I'm really  appreciative of what she did for me. Her family I got along with so well :) we really did they were  different, liberal, fun, real, and so amazingly truley carring..me the brother and sister got along really  well :) they were my age. And we just clicked really well. I would spend time with the brother at night and in the morning and me and the sister were practically attached at the hip. I think it's funny because they didn't know I was coming I just kind of showed up and the sister said here is your new sister and they had no idea it's crazzzy. So i was lying on the sisters bed and she came in and just saw me in her bed. And then asked me so what's your problem but in a nice way. She was really nerdy and cute :) and could talknenglish perfect. So we talked for hours and hours and hours. And I felt so comfortable with her. And she carred so much for me from the first day...then we were together all the time. She even skipped school to be with me. On Halloween I watched a horror movie with the brother and then went to the bathroom and saw a huge cockroach and we hunted it down all night! And killed it...and we also went to the red hot chili peppers concert :) and it was a great night...during the concert I just thought wow I really love this girl. We were just standing next to each other and latter on in the night she told me she loved me too :) the last days I just enjoyed myself really I was really happy with them and just kind of let ago...although I knew my time warning s low......and now that I'm here in Minnesota I don't want to forget what happened in Paraguay....I don't want to forget. I do want to learn from it I want to change. I don't want to let go to the people there and I feel terrible that I left in such a cold way :( didn't even get to say goodbye to nueva italia....I don't want to accept that I'm here that I'm not there anymore but even tho with all my heart I want to get back on the plane and go back down I feel like this is a sign. This happened for a reason, maybe I'm supposed to be here. So I'm taking this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity for me to study to work. T figure out how to live here in Minnesota happily which I never really figured out before. I am going to start community college and I got a job as a swim instructor....but what really is hard is where my love is, where my heart is. I have so muy love and feeling down there, and here it's not the same....I can't feel the heat of the people in the way that I could there. But I'm hoping things will get better here.