So now I'm in the united states. I've been here for almost two weeks. I told my family in asuncion after a week that I wanted to move back to nueva. I really didnt want to tell them because i knew my job was to adapt to the new enviorment. But i also knew that i should communicate to them whatever troubke i was having. They were my hist family and i wanted t be closer to them so i shared what i felt one night. I told them i was more accostamed to the other life and everything was so new nd different to me. I missed the small town in the country and wanted a real paraguayn experience. and they brought be to the afs office saying that I am going to move back and not to worry. They made me feel pretty confident everything was okay and that I would be able to move back. but then I was really shocked when I went in the office and they told me my host family was really offended because they felt like they did a lot for me nd I did not appreciate it. I didn't know that was how they felt and was really shocked and hurt they did not tell me this. Then they told me I couldn't go back to nueva italia because they did not want me there. The director of the school didnt want me there because I was friends with the teacher who they thought I was dating. And they said Gustavo, the representative in nueva italia, did not want me there because he did not want anymore drama about me after the whole thing with the teacher and about me neighbors calling the police saying my host mom was abusing me which was not true. I was really hurt because I always thought he wanted me to live there and that he would always help me and fight to have me live there. But I guess to a certain point.....everyone told me not to get involved with this teacher because it looked bad. And although I was not very sure about him, I thought I was fighting for my right to be friends and to peruse who I choose. But now looking back what I was fighting for which I thought was a freedom was really not worth it...because I lost so much and for what? It wasn't worth it. And telling the family I wanted to move back was a mistake, I really should have known. So the program asked me to sign an agreemtent saying I would leave behind nueva italia. I said I did not want to because all I did was to be honest with my host family which I thought at the time was a good thing. But they said if I don't I         will be sent home to the united states. So I then signed the document. After I got out of the office I  had to go to work in the middle of asuncion in the poorest and most dangerous neighborhood in  asuncion called the chacarita. So as I was walking I just started crying. I was really hurt by  everything I heard that day, I felt like a lot of people were not honest to me. So I called the host  family and asked them if they knew how much I appreciated them and how much I enjoyed being  with them. I then asked them if I made them feel bad by anything they said and they said no, I did  nothing wrong which I guess was a lie. But after I wasn't living with them they still reached out to see if I was okay so I really don't understand this type of behavior...I guess it's a paraguayn thing. After  that I called Gustavo and asked him if it's true that he did not want me to live there in nueva italia and he said of course that's not true.....I don't know really who to believe but I don't want to say he lied.  Maybe he did want me to but it was just to hard....I did cause a lot of problems. And then he told me I could move back. So that night my host sister called me to say that he called and wanted me to know  not to call him again. And my heart just dropped I couldn't believe it? Could he really not just tell me  I couldn't move back? Anyways me calling him was considered violating the agreement so i was sent  back to the USA. By being sent back I was so hurt :( and so was my new host family and the people  here I loved. I dreampt about being an exchange student for three years and worked my butt off a  year before applying to two different programs. My family and me also spent a loooot of money for  the program...and it was such a dream of mine..I felt like it had been crushed and I really felt like I  found what I wa looking for coming tonparaguay...I was learning so much, living so differently, and  meet so many amazing people.....it just hurt but I couldn't really understand what going home would  mean..it was a shock something I could not comprehend. I didn't understand...why was I leaving  behind something so beautiful an a place I loved to come back to my home and to be alone....it just  didn't make sense...and I was so hurt :( also after the host family in the city there was a girl in the  office who felt strongly that I should live with her. Everyone else said she shouldn't taken me in but   she would get to attached but she did. She said she thought her family would be more supportive to  me and she was right. So supportive and wonderful....she also said she wish she could have been  there earlier so she could give me advice and to not out me in a town that is very conservative when I  am very liberal. She called the USA office to try and convince them to let me stay and to let them  know that I was doing much better but they just told her to put her emotions aside. I'm really  appreciative of what she did for me. Her family I got along with so well :) we really did they were  different, liberal, fun, real, and so amazingly truley carring..me the brother and sister got along really  well :) they were my age. And we just clicked really well. I would spend time with the brother at night and in the morning and me and the sister were practically attached at the hip. I think it's funny because they didn't know I was coming I just kind of showed up and the sister said here is your new sister and they had no idea it's crazzzy. So i was lying on the sisters bed and she came in and just saw me in her bed. And then asked me so what's your problem but in a nice way. She was really nerdy and cute :) and could talknenglish perfect. So we talked for hours and hours and hours. And I felt so comfortable with her. And she carred so much for me from the first day...then we were together all the time. She even skipped school to be with me. On Halloween I watched a horror movie with the brother and then went to the bathroom and saw a huge cockroach and we hunted it down all night! And killed it...and we also went to the red hot chili peppers concert :) and it was a great night...during the concert I just thought wow I really love this girl. We were just standing next to each other and latter on in the night she told me she loved me too :) the last days I just enjoyed myself really I was really happy with them and just kind of let ago...although I knew my time warning s low......and now that I'm here in Minnesota I don't want to forget what happened in Paraguay....I don't want to forget. I do want to learn from it I want to change. I don't want to let go to the people there and I feel terrible that I left in such a cold way :( didn't even get to say goodbye to nueva italia....I don't want to accept that I'm here that I'm not there anymore but even tho with all my heart I want to get back on the plane and go back down I feel like this is a sign. This happened for a reason, maybe I'm supposed to be here. So I'm taking this as an opportunity. It is an opportunity for me to study to work. T figure out how to live here in Minnesota happily which I never really figured out before. I am going to start community college and I got a job as a swim instructor....but what really is hard is where my love is, where my heart is. I have so muy love and feeling down there, and here it's not the same....I can't feel the heat of the people in the way that I could there. But I'm hoping things will get better here.

Really a lot has happened in Paraguay.i dont really know how anything more could have happened. Although I felt a lot of stress I really was veryyyyyy happy and had developed my place in nueva italia. I built friendships, a rutiene, and was acostamed to the way of live. I was accustomed to the cows, gallinas, to walking up and down the road sorrounded by the beautiful sugarcane fields, pom trees, the beautiful campo. It was really nice because I could walk anywhere I wanted. To go buy something, togustavos house, I could enter and leave the school whenever I wanted to talk to friends at the end of the day . It was really tranquil andfree. The negative things were that not a lot of peope studied and were not very smart although there was people wealthy too. And that the men are very heavy and the women are very light they aren't as indendent. They don't get divorced much and they sit back and let the husband take control of situations. The women are also more timid and aren't as open. They don't talk as much because they are scarred of judgement. I always heard people say well if I do this what are the neighbors going to say....because of this I did not tall to many women. Also they have babies aat the 15 and get married very early. and they have many babies. I remember my neighbor who was very concerned about me and who was very sweet was 30 years old and had 10 kids. Her how was very dirty and her kids worked but she was so sweet invited me for dinner and gave me food when I was hungry.  But a lot of gossip and judgement. I was also used to the carring inviting people. When I wen into a shop the owners would always talk to me, teach me guarani...and saying hi to the neighbors when coming home, all the kids playing in the street...I really liked how small and close it was. And I did not want to leave. I found a teaching job in nueva italia teaching English from a peace core volunteer whois so sweet and amazing. And I absolutely loved it. The kids were so sweet and really were enthusiastic about learning English. And the other day a friend told me that the kids loved me too much and that they really enjoyed learning from me because they learned a lot. After that I started to cry because I really do miss it and Im not there anymore. They are not learning English anymore.  It was a wonderful place. I was also accustomed to have little kids my brothers always wanting to play with me or walking me up in the morning. I loved seeing their faces In the morning and hearing the mom screaming with the radio blasting in the background. It's the kindness,the beauty, the closeness  and the poorwayof life I miss. Seeing people work in the fields....And the fact I had no space physically and personally. Here In asuncion There is a looooot of space. So at first I went to the school every morning and I started to eat lunch at the school because it was a lot easier than going home. I would eat lunch everyday with one of the teachers in the school who became a friend. He and two other people in the town are a part of the paraguayan folklore dance team amd thr travel the world sharring paraguayan culture. I was really amazed by him because he lived in the Chaco where the indigineous people live where it's very poor until he was 13. And only spoke guarani until he moved and then learned Spanish. Also something else I find interesting is that  the people there the little kids know how to work. They know how to cook, how to sweep, how the clean.   Since age5 because they have to  and they know how to dance. i find that pretty amazing. And the teachers laugh at me because their 5 year old students can sweep better than me :p anyways I would always look forward to eating lunch in the cantina in the school with the teacher and another volunteer from Korea. He didn't speak spanish well but was always smiling and laughing. He was really sweet. And then afterwards when we talk all the little kids watch us and listen its really cute :) and the school is open and much outdoors I really liked that. The lunch at the school was really the one solid meal I had a day. It was really good! Rice, salad, milanesa, soup with vegetables and Paraguayan cheese, tortillas... So after the morning I would go to the community center. A red brick building across from a horse stable and in the background there is the beautifuln green campo. I really miss it. One day with Gustavo I went to go talk with the director about if I could teach a class there. I wanted to teach English but he said I could go help with s computer class and later in summer vacation I could teach little kids how to use a computer. I kind felt like oh gosh I'm not sure if I want to teach how to use a computer. I don't exactly like computers myself or know a lot but these kids here aren't acostamed to use a computer like a i am. It's so different the technology and it's crazzzy to think about it. I grew up with a computer and always I'm school used one everyday but in the schools here they write on the chalkboard and they don't make as many photocopies because it cost money.   And in my school we used an unlimited supply of paper. But I liked the old style of using a                                                chalkboard when I talk English. But anyways I am so glad I went to the computer class because I  meet a really amazing person. The teacher of the computer class. The first day I could tell that I classroom setting in Paraguay is so much different so much more relaxed. In the high school I can just walk in and hang out with them. A they re usually grouped up together talking or writing the their notebook. But it definitely is not orderly at all. More like hanging or and occasionally working. Also they stay in the same classroom with the same group of kids all through high school and they specialize in a specific field like social sciences or with math and computers. Also they don't learn English very well so the ones who know english well went to asuncion to take classes in the paraguayo Americano centro. I pased it a couple times. Anyways in the computer class the teacher is a lot more one with the students and relaxed. He talks openly they joke around and laugh. They bring food to share. They talk take breaks. In general institutions are a lot more unprofessional and also the police is very unprofessional here. They always tell me not to trust in the police. But always thats a whole another 2 stories I'll get to. So the first day I went in the class the teacher spent the first 30 minutes of class talking to me in the front of and with the class. I usually do not get that much   attention walking into a new class. He asked me a lot of questions where I was from and why I a here. And was very interested also the other people on the class too. One Took me to one of the accomanias of nueva italia in the nature where there is a river and even more campo and one showed me his English book and asked me a ton of questions about the us Groverment. And two of the students were also in my English class because I taught every grade in the schoo
. It was crazzzy I was the only English teacher. Anyways every afternoon we would have conversations about everything. Really everything, I could really tell him anything and he was very interested and wanted to hear about it. He would always remember everything I said and always payed attention very well and is very thoughtful and observant. He is very interested in phycollogy                            and I think that made take part in why we got a long. We would talk about culture, phycology, he would teach me phrases in guarani and I wrote him English, really about everything. He is a lawyer and is very smart and very carring. Once he told me I was thinking and you really can speak Spanish well because you don't have to translate in your head and we can carry on a conversation.. I felt so much better because so many people say I can't speak Spanish who aren't very smart because I make mistakes and sometimes my accent is hard to understand but I can communicate. He told me many times that I shouldn't fall in love because I am young and I need to live my life be free work study. He gives me good advice and really takes care of me a lot like the paraguayans here. They all take care of me and i reallyfelt like the whole town took care of me. I think that's funny what hesaid because it's implying that if I fall in love I will live forever here and have my baby'shere. Actually a lot people asked me if I have a husband and kids which is crazzzy to me because no one would ask methat in my country. Also they all want you to find a partner quedar in Paraguay, stay and have your baby's and always ask if you will and when I say no they say well this person would make a good husband. I think it's really cute that's how they think, they want you to find s partner and stay although a little crazzzy.

So right now everything is pretty good. I am liking my family more and more and it is harder for me to think about changing families.  I dont know what i will do. I really enjoy playing with my brothers. The other day we were playing soccer, volleyball, and then hiding in the trees and pertending that there was a monster! Then the mom said we could go on a run around the neighboorhood. I live in a place called asentamiento. All the houses are very small and close together. Everyone is always outside hanging out, drinking tehtete, working in their yard cutting sugar cane, braches, or washing their clothes. Everyone has cows, roosters, and other animals. Also i feel a lot more comfortable with my host sisters. I say what i want to them and i think they are starting to open up alittle more to me...at least i think so. I think the older sister enjoys talking to me and she listens very well which its not typical of paraguay. I feel that a lot of people are not very good at listening expecially my host mom. My host sisters are also very smart and if i ever have a concern or dont know what to do about something they have a solution. About personal hygenie, how to behave with certain people here, what to with spiders, how to wash my clothes, etc..a lot ot little things. Last night there was a huge spider crawling around really fast and i was screaming because it was really big! :p Then my host mom came in and said not to be afraid of anything that doesnt have bones....and that i just need to kill it and thats all there is to it. i thought it was interesting how she explained it....she said dogs can bite but spiders cant do anything. But im not sure if she knows that there are posious spiders....I dont think the spiders here are posious..but they are very big. Also there are some men here who are very pushy. There was two different times where i was walking in town and someone came up to me asking where i lived, if i had a boyfriend, who my family was, where i went to school, a million questions...which was very rude and very annoying. I just told them i need to go and i kept on walking and my host sister said she does the same thing. She wont talk to anyone on the street she doesnt know. But ive realized i need to be very firm with people and say no i dont want to talk to you or i dont want to go to wherever they want you to go. The two men on the street where strangers but also people i know are also like that just less heavy. For instance i have a neighboor who is 15 years old and he is very nice. At the school he asked me questions about the food ive tried here, taught me words in guarani, and we talked about a lot of different things...Yesterday he was with me in the festival and he would not stop talking to me. And asked me too many questions, asked me to go to the church sunday, to go drink tehtete, that i could cook with his mom.....it was very nice but just too much.....so after the festival i went home. I do really appreciate how inviting people are here, it is quite oppisite from the people in minnesota....Also the other day my house was locked so i went to my neighboors. and i hada really good time. The mother told me that i could live with them. Asked me about where i am from, how i got her, what i am doing, showed me where i could sleep, around the house, etc. They have their own small shop and i see the grandmother working in the yard a lot and the husband cuttting sugar cane. They have these really big knives they use. The little boy was so cute, he was running around and then ran up to me and just stared at me....The maybe 13 year old boy was studying english which was cute to see and the other little boy showed me his homework......Also i really enjoyed talking to the dad. He was very smart and talked a looot. With is not at all typical in paraguay. Their family lived in buenos aires for work for a long time. And he worked there fixing cars. I think a lot of people here go to argentina to work. There is a lot more work there. He also was in the militay and therefore did not get the chance to study. He told me that a lot of people where bringing sugar cane over from argentina to sell in paraguay because it is cheaper in argentina and therefore you can sell it for a lower price in paraguay. But the police are watching for people who are doing this and making them pay a fine or something. He also talked about politic and about how every president steals money from the goverment. The goverment is in a cycle of corruption although there was a president who did donate houses, including the houses in my nighboorhood..Also paraguay has the hydroelectic dam in asuncion and the goverment sells most of it to brazil and argentina for a low price and what is left over is sold to paraguay for  ahigher price which is not fair at all. Last wednesday was the birthday for the political party colorado..and they have a party where they dance it is kind of odd. The two political parties here are simular and they dont want to help the poor....i dont really understand the point of them and i dont think a lot fo people do also. People say there is no difference between them. Also last ween i went to the football game paraguay vs. argentina and paraguay lost. And last weekend there was a afs meeting for three days. i learned a lot about how history has shaped the paraguayan culture. way back there was two presidents who really helped paraguay a lot. One bulit the first train in southamerica and the other helped to develop the agriculture.. But argentina and brazil realized how paraguay was developing and becoming richer and richer so they made war with paraguay. And paraguay lost. Paraguay really valued the men that fought in the war and that is where the macho cluture comes from. Men where highly valued for this. And the reason that people are very private and more closed off about certain things is because of the period when strassuner was in power, a dictator. When he was in power you could not have a different opinion and i guess that is why kids today in paraguay do not resist their parents or express their opinion. I see these traits very much my family. Also asuncion was stratigically bulit because it is on the paraguay river, where the gold and other items where transported by boat. There is a colony of guaranis that live in asuncion. Also ive realized how different asuncion is. How modern it is. they have technology and soooo much more money. here you can really see the difference. There are really poor people and then really rich people. Also the people in asuncion dont speak guarani, instead they speak english. Also paraguay has a aquipher of water..And i have realized that people put their trash on the side of the road or in their yard and burn it. so you see small fires a lot. Also paraguay smells bad a lot..the trash and other things i do not know..Also i really like how here everone shares food. When ever you have food or a drink you share it with everyone. there is never some food just for you. And they are very propper. they always give me food, cothes, tell me to sit down. In my school there are a lot of festivals where the kids dress up in the tradition dress and dance. It is really cute because they are so tiny and they know how to do their countries traditional dance. Also the dogs here are really not treated how they are treated in the united states. They are kept outside and not treated very  nicely. And the kids here also adults have a lot of black teeth...I think that is something that the parents need to teach their kids about along with contraception. I actually found a organicacion that deals with kids rights including contraception and topics such as this. Monday i will go talk to them. I really like to find a job because right now gustavo keeps saying that he will talk to the school. Also i will be able to teach computer classes in about two months.

 dia del nino day of the children. everyone dresses up as clowns and we sang and danced for the kids

 warming up milk for the kids in day of the children

 A protest against rape asuncion next to river paraguay

a poor neighboorhood in Asuncion

It now has been a month and a lot has happened! I feel a lot better now because i have meet some really nice people! The first couple weeks i really missed my family and still do. But i was kind of sad because my host family, i didnt really understand them at first...I have realized a lot about my host family. They are a family who sticks together a lot. The mother is very protective and i thought that was normal of paraguay. But now that i know other people and families ive realized she is a lot more protective. I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing......Because i think my sisters should be able to leave the house more, experience more but at the same time i think its good to stick together. My family does not know much about the outside world. they have never been outside paraguay and the do not have a desire to travel to other countries, they also do not know what they want to do for work after school ( the sisters)....i dont really like that. I think they have a lack of interest because they have not seen or heard much. one day i asked my host sister what she wanted to know about my culture, country and she said there was nothing she wanted to know because she had never read anyhing or seen pictures or videos... My sisters stay home and they listen to the mother always. They never fight or uestion her ever and they also act as mothers to the younger brothers. They clean their clothes, put clothes on them, brush their hair, scold them when they do something wrong. My host family is not very open, the do not talk much to me and didnt show much in me, where i am from, my culture. They are a also very serious and they do not smile or day goodmorning, goodnight, or hello when i come back home in the night. They never ask each how their day went or how they are doing. They are not a very warm or cozzy family but they are carring, they just show it in different ways through protectivness and taking care of each other. the little boys i really enjoy being with they are always playing and the mom likes to play with them to :) The two sisters are very close and at times i felt bad because they always talk to each other but not to me. This i really did not like and i felt bad because i felt like they did not want me to live with them and felt like they were putting a lot of distance between me and them. The companation of this feeling, missing my family, and being in a very strange place made me really sad....I think its the way of paraguayan people...but other people outside my family have asked me a lot about what my country is like and have shown interest in me. My host mom is very interesting....she talks a lot and very strongly....she doesnt really comfort me or every listen to what i say...but she lectures me what to do ir trys to teach me something. She also lets me go out a lot and she doesnt let her own daughters, which i kid of feel weird about...why does she let me but not her daughters..a couple times i came home at nine and everyone was sleeping. they sleep at eight every night. About a week ago she told me not to wash my hair when i have my period....i thought that was very strange so i asked my spanish teacher and a friends mom about it. And i guess that is what the indigenous gurani people did way back then!! And that today no one does that...but my family still does that even the sisters. They believed that washing your hair would put more pressure on your head causing your head to hurt more and causing your blood to be pushed out ...My friends mom said that my host mom did not study much and that there is not much i can lean about paraguayan culture from her, she said it is very rich....My family also is a lot poorer than other families. She tells me a lot of what to do, things that in the united states are more a personal choose of what to do...but in paraguay personal things such as bathing and how you take care of yourself is not personal, they tell you what to do. she tells me when to shower, what to wear, when to bruch my hair, what to eat, if i need to eat more, when to wake up everyday, she and my sisters clean and organize my personal things and they help me get ready when i leave for the day like putting my jacket on and things like that....some things i agree with but other things i dont agree with that my mom says.I feel like a lot of the things she says are negative....like she said that she wants to help children so they have enough food to eat but she doesnt want to help girls who get pregnant because they could have prevented it, she also said its better to keep your children in the house so they dont get pregnant, get drunki, or get into trouble....She told me she doesnt like that afs doesnt pay for a lot of things and that afs doesnt help the poor very much like the peace core does...She told me not to let little kids touch my things because they might break it. She also told me not to talk a lot to people, telling them how it is at home and where i live and what i think about things because if i talk to much people will want to keep their distance from me. She told me to abserve more than i should talk. which i agree with but i think i should be able to express my opinion. i live in a small town and a lot of people know already my name, where i work, what i think of my work and what i think of my family....information travels very fast. She also said that the richer people here look down at the poorer people and do not converstate with them. She also told me i need to speak spanish more with the other foriegn exhchange students because if i speak english other people in town wont want to talk to me as much. I think she is very concerned that i do the right thing, and she is concerned of what people think and that i take care of myself...but i dont like that i cant have a conversation with her and talk about other things other than what i should do. Right now i feel like i am more used to the way the family behaves. I can talk openly with the siters but they dont talk openly with me. I have realized that paraguayan people do not talk about their personal lives or their pasts very much...She told me that she has a boyfriend and that her mother can never know if she has one. but other than stating that she has a boyfriend she doesnt talk about how her relationship is going or how it is with her friends, or how she is feeling at the moment...other people also do not do this. A lot of young people have children and marry very early in paraguay. i guess the girls are embarrassed to use birth control and that is why there are so many girls prenant here...but i dont understnad because they talk to them in the school about birth control and they can go to the hospital for free birth control. So the other week i was walking to cooking class for the first time and i ran into my host sisters friends and they invited me to dia del nino. It is a day full of cookies, chololate, toys, and games for kids....it is for the kids in the past who fought in wars for paraguay. Paraguay has been through a lot of wars in the past and have lost a lot of land to argentina and brasil. I also went to the church with them to sing. They go to the chruch a lot!!! and to the capilla every saturday! a church that is deticated to one saint and they play games, sing, and read messages from the bible...the games they do is very interesting....and last saturday there was a party at night for nueva italia, the day it was created. their has a proffesional paraguayan dance group from assuncion. and we dances a lot! til two in the morning...their is friend from the group who can dance verrry well, all sorts of types of dances and he can move his stomach very well too. he showed me how they dance and i really enjoyed it! He also can cook very well. the next day we cooked different types of food. I have felt a lot better every since i have been spanding more time with this group of people. they are so inviting and inclusive! they always invite me to things they are doing. and when i was late they went looking for me. they are also very inclusive when i dont understnad something they explain it to me, they are always making sure i am having fun and i am a part of what they are doing i am so glad i meet them ;)) they also ask me uestions about my country and they like when i teach them english or when i show they how to belly dance. the other day i was dancing and they all were trying to do what i was doing, it was really cute! there is one boy in the group who always talks really fast and softly so its hard to understand him! and he always asks me about the most complex things...that are hard for me to answer in english let alone spanish...like what is going on in syria right now, or how the military is in the usa, and nasa. he wants to be a pilot and go to the united states to learn because in paraguay you cannt learn how to do such things...there is not much opportunty here in paraguay...its like going back in time a hundrad years. Also another thing that is  weird to me is that they are very touchy, always hugging and kissing. The guys do it to other girls even when they have a girl friend and its nice that they are comfortable withe ach other and show their affection. Also the other day i got a message that they were all comming to pick me up and i was so happy...one of them talked to my host mom and explainned what were were doing today and asked if she would let me go with them...i really like how they talk to the parents, i feel like that is very respectful. Also recently i feel like i have been doing to much!!! every morning going to the school, spanish class, to be with friends or to an activity..i felt really bad that i was never home....really bad because my family is always together...and i dont like how i have to go to spanish class. i dont learn anything because the teach isnt very good and i am always talking english to explain to the other people what the teacher is saying. i dont feel like its helpful for me to be spanding so much time with people who speak english so today i didnt go and i washed my cloths. right now i cant wash my cloths in my house so i took all my clothes and brought all of it to gustavos house to wash them by hand there! it was so heavy in the intense heat! i dont mind washing my clothes by hand...also soon i will be teaching english in the high schiool, elementry school, and community center.Also i am so glad that there is another foreign exchange student here i can talk to, i can tell her everything and she is very sweet :) Also i meet a teacher at my school who grew upo in the chaco region with the indians which i thought was very interesting. he didnt learn spanish until he went to school and now he travels with other paraguayans dancing talking about paraguay and sharing the culture. he knows aloooot about paraguayn history and he talks a lot about it which is nice because not a lot of people here are well educated or weel traveled and they cannot share as much. Also there is a korean man at my school who is teaching and donated a lot of things to the school. i guess there is a lot of koreans in paraguay..im not sure why..but he donated a lawn mower..i dont know why because paraguayn grass doesnt really need to be cut. its different. and the guy who was starting counlt figure it out and everyone in the school wa watching him so i shower him how to do it. it was funny seeing the whole scene because to me a lawn mower is so normal but not to them. Also now i am used to speaking spanish. i still ahve a lot to learn and i still dont speak well but i dont feel bad anymore. Also in the elementry school they learn about their countrys fladg and they sing songs about being a praguayan. they really teach them how to be proud of their country. and about two weeks ago another president in paraguay was elected names horacio. he owns a factory and has a lot opf money but i dont know if he is any good the people here dont know either. there is a lot of polital corruption in paraguay. Also paraguay in a country of transit a lot of people going through paraguay to but things. things are verrrry cheap here because their ecomomy is verrry weak. and it is easy to but drugs here because of the corruption. paraguay used to be rich people their was many mines and many gold but other countries ttook paraguays wealth and land. Also the last thing i want to say is that i think i might be changing families. the other week i went with the group to thomys house. and his mom offerend to have me. Me , his mom, and his dad talked for a very long time. they asked me many uestions about how everything was, if it was hard, and if i missed my family, what i thought about everything here and they showed empathy. It wwas really nice that someone asked me how everything was and that they could understnad what i thought and felt and it was very nice that they listened to me. the dad is from japan adn the mom is paraguayan. They are very interested and open to other cultures. and the son wants to travel after high school. their family is very inviting and very different them my family right now and i was thinking that this other family might be a better fit. They go fishing in rio paraguay and have many produce, vegtables, and animals. i feel like there is a lot i could learn from them and that i could get a long with them well. they also have two other chilren both younger. the oldest is sixteen. The mom also is very empathetic, carring,a and not as harsh. she lets her kids having friends over and do more activities which i think is healthier. the grandma from japan also lives with the family and she seems very sweet. their son is very much a people person. he know a lot of people and is very good with dealing with poeople. he talked to my host mom about me living with them and i talked to her too the other day. she said that there was no problem if i want to see what it is like fwith this family. and that it is good that i see what its live, how they are...but i definitly would miss the little boys. im not a hundred percent sure that it will work out though, it is a big deal to have som,eone for a year. wel will see. also gustavo know the family well and the family is well knows so i know thay are okay.

So paraguay is getting better :) Ive lived here for almost two weeks now and i am more comfortable and used to everything. I feel more comfortable speaking spanish and i am learning more :) I am more comfortable with the idea that i dont speak well and it will take much time for me to understand everything. More people in the town know who i am and a lot of times someone says hi kayla to me and i have never meet them before. But i am glad that they know who i am. I walk to the school i work at every day and to gustavos house and people always ask me if i want i ride which is annoying but i always say no. I will never get on a motorcycle because it is too dangerous expecially in paraguay. In paraguay there are no stop signs or stop lights and no one obeys the trafic laws. And the policia doesnt doing anything about it. I realy dont know what the police do here. Thats what my sister told me, that there are a lot of accidents in the motorcycles.  Also a lot of my neighbors dont have enough money to eat so my host mom makes them lunch at the comedor and all the kids come in the afternoon. The food is donated by the goverment i think but recently it sstoped. My host sister explained it to me but i couldnt understand. Someone told me the president didnt want to give more money to the poor but then she was explainning to me something about a bad family that did something, im not sure. Also gustavo has an organization called nueva suerte to help the hospital here and also to help young pregnant women in here. There are a lot of young prenant women and his his wife teached about controception in the schools but it is still a problem. This saturday there will be a movie to raise money for the organization and we are talking about having contests in raise money. I really enjoy and get along with my family :)  My host mother always asks me how my day was, if i ate anything, and she enjoys explainning things to me. I also ask her many questions. She is very animated and i can understand her pretty well! She told me that if i get home late i wont be able to go out again for a while. She is very protective. She also said that is there is a boy that me or one of my sisters like we wont be able to leave the house :p but she was just joking around. We joke around a lot. They always say that in the summer we wear more clothes and in the winter we wear less, to confuse me :p And there is a worker that comes to our house to fix the wall of one of the rooms in the house after its fixed me and dianna and maybe adrianna will move into that room. They joke around that only i will sleep in that room because i said that i dont want to be alone. My little host brothers are also getting more comfortable with me. The younger one is very talkive and is always laughting and playing around. The other day i read them the little mermaid in spanish. The little brother likes to copy what i am doing and

I have been in Paraguay now for almost two weeks and i am getting more used to everything :) I am getting more used to speaking spanish and to the idea that i cant speak very well yet and that it will take time. If i dont understand something i ask for an explanation or what a word means but sometimes if theres much i dont understand i dont ask because it is too much. My host mom enjoys explainning much to me and she is very animated and i can understand her. My host brothers are also getting more used to me! I enjoy being with my two host brothers. The little one talks a lot and is always laughing and playing around. He copies what i am doing some times and yesterday i read them a story in spanish :) He is also loves to say my name. It is hard for people to say my name here. The older brother is a little more quite but he is very smart! And i enjoy looking at his homework My younger sister showed me today her english lyrics from english class and he sang a bit. I am teaching her a little bit of english. It is reallly cute when she says something in english. I like eating dinner with the family. We joke around a lot. They try to confuse me by saying that in paraguay in winter they wear not much clothes and in the summer they wear a lot. The mom also jokes that she will get colored contacts for the family so we look like we are all related. The people here including the family are very ammused with my things such as my jewelry and my camera. It is getting better at the school i work at because the kids know me better now but i still feel like there is not much for me to do. Every afternoon i take two buses with the afs students to another city where my spanish class is at. The first time was very fun and the spanish teacher is very nice :) And i like the town where our spanish class is at. It is very cute with a church and school. A lot of my neighboors dont have enough food to eat so my host mother cooks the kids luch and they all come to the comedor to have lunch but recently something happened and the goverment is not giving out money for the poorer people so it has stopped. Gustavo has an organazation called nueva suerte which helps to raise money for the hospital here in nueva Italia and for services for young pregnant women here. His wife talks about contraception in the schools but there is still a lot of young pregnant women. We are talking about fundraisers and this saturday there willl be a movie playing in the town to raise money. I will help to riase money and visit the women who need help.Gustavo has been a big help to me and to the afs students. He makes sure we know where to do and makes sure everything is going well at home and at work. Today there is a new president in paraguay so there is no school, which is very nice! His name is Horacio and every five years there is a new president. People vote for the president but there is still a lot of corruption and hopefully this president will give the money to the people who need it. The last one kept the money and had much because he owned a factory. There are many afs students who come to work in shelters where the homeless children can go. There are many homeless children here. Also the other day my host sister said that no one here respects the traffic laws. Here there are no stop lighs and stop signs and many people get into accidents. When im walking many people ask me for a ride but i wont ride a motorcycle. Also more people in the town know i am here which is nice :) Some people say hi kaya, people that i have not meet before. Many people talk in the town and last week my host mom said i needed to wash my feet because the people in the town said that i had dirty feet. Whichi thought was kind of weird! I did hear before i came that people are very cleansly here, which is true.

A week ago i arrived in asuncion with 72 other afs students.I talked to many people in the couple of days and we also learned a lot about paraguay. We learned that they drink mate and tetete. They are types of tea. We learned different gestures that they do in paraguay, health and safty, that the families are very protective and restrictive of their daughters, about the sounds that men make at women. There is the dengue fever here in paraguay so we have to wear insect repellent in the summer and at night. Also paraguay is a third world country that has a lot of poverty. There is no hot water or heating in my town and not much internet. But there are a lot of gracious and caring paraguayos that help. Paraguay is relativley safe expecially where i am in a safe town. It is also a traditional society that values the family very much and the women clean and cook while the men work. The day that meet my host family i was very very nervous! I was so worried to meet my family because they would be the family that i would live with for a year. A lot of paragayan families came to pick of their new son and daughter. A lot of them had nice cars and clothes. A lot of them were wealtheir and live in asuncion where there is more wealth. But there were also poorer families. Gustavo, my representative in nueva Italia, came to pick me up along with two other student who live in my town, one from germany and one from belgium. I was nervous because i didnt know where we were going and i didnt understand why my family didnt want to come pick me up. But it wasnt because they didnt want to its just that they dont have a car. Not many people have cars but many people have motorcycles. i wont ride one because they are very dangerous, many people get into accidents expecially at night when they drink. So when i got to my family first was the first time i felt homesick because everything was so strange...And no one seemed excited to meet me. My host mom took me to the backyard because everyone was having dinner at the grandpas house. There was chickens and dogs running around under the table, lots of flys on the food, and a lot of arena everywhere. Arena is a type of sand that they have everywhere which is the color of red clay. At first no one talked to me and everyone talked in guarani. So i didnt know what to do...i couldnt understand anyone..and it was so different so i felt like crying. The daughter was cleaning the dishes and didnt talk to me. Later on they talked to me in spanish so i felt better. Speaking spanish all the time is difficult. There is a lot of feelings that go along with it. I feel embarrased because i cannot understand or speak well and i feel bad that they always have to repeat things for me and explain things to me. Sometimes i dont ask for an explanation and sometimes i do. But im learning that its okay if people need to speak slower to me and repeat things. I shouldnt feel bad about it but its hard not to feel frustrated. Later on i talked with my host sisters and i can have interesting conversations with my host sisters. We talked about many things and they have told me many things about paraguay. They told me that their parents dont like it if they leave the house often and that if they have a boyfriend they cannot let their parents know. Also they told me that there are a lot of disrespectful men in paraguay and that many young girls become pregnant because the men refuse to use a condom. There are people that come to their school and explain how to use one and about the diseases that you can get other wise but still not everyone uses protection. My sister is actually doing a proyect on stds which i find intereting. Many subjects are considered taboo here such as sex and gay people. They tend not to talk much about those subjects. Also politics. This past week i went to the pre school but i did not like it very much because i felt useless. I cannot understand younger people because they speak much guarani and there was not much that i could do other than hand out milk and cookies. One teacher asked me what i was doing here and when i asked her what i could do to help she did not know. So i felt very unwanted. I told my representative and he said that in a month we could find another type of work like teaching english. I want to be useful and be able to help the people in some way. Also one afs student told me to be patient because she felt the same way for three months. It is not easy being a foriegn exchange student. The people here stare at me but they dont smile. I really dont like that they dont smile or laugh much in public and it makes me feel bad. There are not a lot of men who make the chi chi noises but sometimes there are. I am very happy that there are other foreign exchange students here, so i can speak english and so i am not alone. I imagined my exchange year romantically, that everyone would want to talk to me and that i would make many friends and enjoy learning many things. I never thought about how it would be difficult.  Hopefully i will soon find my place here and make friends. I meet my sisters friends the other day and they were so nice to me! They asked me what i like to do, how liked paraguay which is a question thats hard to answer right now. They showed me how they dance and also how they draw. They often cook together and go to the church to sing and dance on saturday which i missed yesterday because i was traveling in paraguay. I hope i can make friends here and that my parents will let me go out a lot to spend tiime with friends. My host brothers are very very cute! I played games with them with marbles and cards. It is interesting because the people here in paraguay are very generous and they like to take care of you but they do not apear that way. They apear standoffish and distant. In paraguay we always share food and we always poor the water or soda for each other at dinner time. One person serves the rest. People are not very independent. Also winter just started here and it is very cold!! including the homes and i do nott want to take a shower or change my clothes because it is too cold. Although paraguayans are very clean people and they like to organize and clean each other things. The food is also very good and filling! We eat a lot of chicken and soup. Also this really hard bread we put in mate, hot tea with milk. Also everyone drinks tetete, this type of tea. They carry around thermos filled with water to fill their cup with the tetete leaves. I have learned a lot of spanish words here, there are so many to learn! They call the bus colectivo for example which is different. In the town there is a hopital that people are working on to raise money for a improve. There is a community center where you can take spanish, guarani leassons and also learn how to make clothing and how to fix motorcycles. There is also another center where people organize the money and where there  are therapists. Im not sure what else but i know that every saturday there is a fiesta for young people. But my host mom doesnt allow her daughters to go because there is many drunk people and accident with the motorcycles. I really want to go to the colegio which is their high school. To see what their schol is like. I think that the school is pretty good and they can learn quite a bit there. I saw my younger brothers homework and it was pretty difficut but he did everything right. I walk to school everyday butt i could also take the bus because it comes every fifteen minutes. No one in the town can speak english but there is an english class and some peop9le try speaking english to me. But they only can say hello, goodbye, see you tomorrow. Also i love how they say my name here. IT is hard for them to pronounce but once they get it it is funny because their voice goes up and them down, they pronounce the ka with more emphasis. Right now i am using the computer of gustavo. he said i could use it whever but i still feel bad taking from people. The other day i went on a trip with the other afs students all around paraguay. WE saw a lot of towns and places where there was just nature. And this previous day i went with the afs student in the town to buy things in asuncion. There are not many afs student who i feel like i really get along with but i hope to find paraguayan friends.Ive wondered how everyone elses experiences are in paraguay.....I think thats all i can think of for now bye!!

Today i woke up at early and i was wide awake to get on the plane although i was scared/nervous. My grandma, oma, mom, dad, and sisters came to the airport. They were crying and it was really sad to leave them. I tried not to cry and i went to my gate. Miami was so beautiful!!! It was hot and i could see all the beautiful pomtrees. I could hear spanish everywhere and many people from all over. It felt good to be there. So after i got my bag i went outside and there was a nice girl